Hopeful Spring
Sometimes things happened for a reason - How often we experienced the meaning of this phrase? Not often, at least for me, but having said that, I believe I just had an experience of it.
Luck hasn’t been on my side for the last two weeks. Last Monday, my husband met with a car accident on his way to work. He is alright but his car isn’t. I had to hold my tears in front of my daughter after seeing the damaged car because it is just too severe. I imagined it must be a horrible experience for my husband during the crash. I prayed all the way home and thanked god that my husband was not injured. The accident has suddenly put a great strain on our finances. Both my husband and I were emotionally frustrated because he needed the car badly for his new job. The accident happened on the same week when I was busy between preparing for AVENUE S/S fashion week and kid`s spring camp. Being busy was a good thing because I needed something to take my mind off the car problem.
When I was finally more settled with the incident, my health took a dip. I felt pain on one of my breasts on Friday night. By Saturday morning, I could feel a lump and it was unusually painful. I dare not think what was it and at one point was contemplating if I should tell anyone. Maybe the lump and pain would go away after some good rest? but who am I to fool? It was unusually painful that I could not ignore. Every step I took the pain was there to remind me of it. So I finally acknowledged I needed medical consultation. However, it was Easter weekends and my family doctor wasn’t working. I tried another clinic and it was not opened too so I came home to sleep, and sleep. Emotionally I was quite torn. On one hand, I was scared and frustrated. I asked myself if I have been cursed with bad luck lately but on the other hand, I told myself I needed to stay calm and positive because bad mood and bad vibes attract bad things. The rest of my memory of the weekend was very vague. I don’t quite remember how I have survived it.
The waiting at the clinic on Monday morning was agonizing. The urgent tone from the doctor after she had examined me didn’t help. She told me to make myself available for mammogram and ultra sound appointments within the same week and ”AS SOON AS POSSIBLE”! So I did. I have to. My appointments were scheduled on Wednesday morning. It was another nerves wrecking wait. I didn’t know what to think, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t focus on anything so I slept most time and in between I think I edited some pictures for blogging too because I needed some distraction. I also stepped back from my Producer duties at the Fashion Week because knowing myself I won’t be able to do a good job with such state of mind.
After six days of worries, my doctor gave me a clean bill this morning. Turn out the lump and pain was due to gland tissues. It was a huge sigh of relief when she told me everything is alright.
OK, so I haven’t been truthful. I said I couldn’t think but actually I did a lot of thinking for the past six days. I asked myself what have caused the possible of breast cancer despite there is no such history in my family. I came to realise I have been living under stress and bad mood since I moved to a foreign land. A new environment, some bad experience and with no support systems here took the best of me. I realize I need to make adjustment. I need to be more positive and put more focus on things that are deserving and let go of those that are underserving. I know I need to keep my faith and have a better control of my own mood. I know I need to change, soon, before everything is too late.
So today I have a clean bill of health but the experience I encountered for the past two weeks have changed my perspective of life.
Sometimes things do happened for a reason. I was put through life and death, wealth and health situations within a short span of two weeks, to understand what is most important to me. Today, I have choosen to share my experience here not because I wanted sympathy or empathy. All I wanted to share is the message of focusing on what is most important to you in life and let the trivial ones go. Don’t wait until it is too late. In my case, I am glad it is not late for me. God has continued to grant me the power of choice and I know I need to choose wisely this time.
Here is wishing everyone a beautiful, hopeful and forward looking spring. Some nice clothings will definitely help too like the two I wore above. 
One more day to the weekend….remember to come watch me walk on the Ricielli show tomorrow (Friday), as well as the closing Haute show on Saturday, along with some really fabulous stylists and models on the grid. <333
Landmark to the shows here!
Landmark to the retail gallery here!
STYLE CARD
Look 1
Hair: ::Exile:: Beyond the Waves:Swiss
Hairband: LaGyo_Fran vinyl bow headbend Pink/Leo (TDR item)
Glasses: {{BSD Design studio}}sunglasses – supermodel olivia Ppink (SL Fashion Week item)
Dress: {.:OZI:.} LOUNGE dress SCANDI BLUE (AVENUE S/S Fashion Week item)
Tights: naive . noise leggings Pants pink
Boots: ***Arisaris Igs50 Bohemian Boot Camel
Lipstick: Pink Acid Mildred Lips & Teeth – Poppin Pink (SL Buddy Walk item)
Umbrella: [HANDverk]April Showers Parasol.pink.elephant (Collaboration item with Exposeur at Pose Fair 2013)
Pose: Diesel Works
Look 2
Hair: ~Tableau Vivant~ Hathaway hair – Brown 4 (Collabor88 item)
Top: MOLiCHiNO Damson Shirt (AVENUE S/S Fashion Week item)
Bodysuit: MOLiCHiNO Jourdan Bodysuit (AVENUE S/S Fashion Week item)
Skirt: MOLiCHiNO Kadi Skirt (AVENUE S/S Fashion Week item)
Collar: [VM] VERO MODERO / Top Flowers (Part of Nese Leather Dress Nectarine) (AVENUE S/S Fashion Week item)
Ring: [MANDALA] Motsumame Ring Red/Gold
Shoes: *GF* Flower Pumps “Eve” -purple-
